1.22.2010

EPISODE 12: AT THE DAILY GRIND COFFEE SHOP

CHAPTER 53: WITCH BARBIE

"This is amazing! Did you know that over the years millions have fallen under Barbie's spell."

"Awesome! That's one powerful witch."

Red: "I didn't even know she was part of the Sisterhood."

"Maybe she's an independent. Like a free-lancer."

"We could like totally take over the world if we had that kind of power."

Makeda: "Let's go look her up. Have her tell us her formula."
Red: "But what if she doesn't want to share?"

"We'll have to encourage her."

"A powerful witch like that?"

"Hey, there's three of us. One of her. Do the math."

"I don't get it. I don't do math."

"Just stick to doing your nails then, Red. Leave the nefarious plotting to the brains of this outfit."

CHAPTER 54: A WOULD-BE PROM QUEEN

(EPISODE 12)

"Whatcha writing, Gramma?"

"I'm working on my memoir, Honey."

"Am I in it?"

"Do you want to be?"

"Sure. But could you make me like the most popular prettiest girl in high school, and the only reason I wasn't elected prom queen was because of all the mean things that were said about me by vicious small-minded sluts and guys that aren't fit to carry my books."

"Actually, Sweetheart, memoirs are supposed to be factual."

"Oh."

"I thought they were for political pay backs."

CHAPTER 55: HIGH DEFINITION

(Episode 12)

"Gramma, what's 'rogue'?"

"Here, let me look it up on the internet. Let's see..."

Gramma: "H'mm, that explains a lot. Here, there's more."

"So is that why Cindersara quit her job as governor, Gramma? Because she had gone rogue."

"Something like that. But politics is full of rogues, honey."

"But Gramma, what happens if you start going rogue and you don't want to go into politics? Is there medication or something?"

"Oh, that would be too boring. Why are you reading that book, anyway? It will stunt your growth."

"Hi, Kelly!"
"Oh, hi, David."
"Wow, good taste in books."

"You think so?"

"Sure, it's a riveting read. A rare anthropological study of the Cinderella complex in a fragmenting oil-based society."

"Well, there is that."

**********************
Credits: Thanks to http://www.merriam-webster.com/, your resource for all things made up entirely of letters, for the definitions of "rogue".
CHAPTER 56: MORE OF THE FAMILY HISTORY

(Episode 12)

"Hello Officer Mike. What can I get for you?" Mitzi is still uncomfortable around the policeman, who has been on the scene of too many of her more humiliating moments.

"Hello, Ma'am. Haven't seen any more urchins or Barbie assassins, have you?"

Mitzi laughs. "Here? Look around you. Do you see the least sign of anything or anyone abnormal?"

"No, Ma'am. Looks like a group of peaceful law-abiding citizens. Of course, anyone who likes donuts can't be bad."

Adrian: "...so anyway, my mother mostly raised us by herself."

"Where was your father?"

"He was in the penitentiary for ten years."

"Let me guess. He robbed a blood bank?"

"What?! No!"

"Phew. Just let it be some ordinary run of the mill crime, Lord."

"It was a total frame job. My father would never have done something that stupid. Somebody put those bags of blood in his car!"

"Why would anyone do that?"

"Are you kidding? To throw them off the scent. Have someone else take the rap to conceal the fact that they'd been stealing the stuff for years. Probably an inside job."

"But why does anyone steal blood unless...you know...they have abherrant tastes?"

"You're being sarcastical, right? Oh, crap...you're not. No, no I don't think you're stupid. You probably never had to get your blood in some dark alley. But do you have any idea what the street value on that stuff is?"

"Yeah, I hear you. Me neither."

1.21.2010

EPISODE 11: MARGARET AND ADRIAN

CHAPTER 49: A DARK SIDE

"Hi."

"Hi, Sweetheart. You going out?"

"Just to meet Adrian for coffee. Bye."

"Who's Adrian?"

"Remember the plumber who was here the other day?"

"Yeah? He doesn't seem like her type."

"You mean because he doesn't have a ring through his nose or crop circles shaved into his hair?"

"What happened to the guy who only ate wild rice and dandelion greens?"

"Oh, he had to move when winter came. Frankly, I'm just happy Margaret has finally found someone normal."

"He seems nice enough."

"Not to mention cute."

"Cute? I never knew you noticed cute."

"You'd be surprised, dear. I'm not just the bland silly housewife everyone thinks I am. I have my deep dark secrets."

"The next thing I know you're going to tell me you don't really bake your pie crusts from scratch. No! So that's how it is! All this time you've been letting me believe....? Well, you are a naughty one."

"Having a dark side makes me more interesting, don't you think?"

"Relatively speaking. Relatively speaking."

Chapter 50: Meet the Girls

(Episode 11)

"Hi, Adrian. " "Oh, hey, girls.""Wow! She's so totally not his type."
"And how was it again that you happen to know what his type is?"
"Trust me, I know."
"OMG, you are so wicked!"
"Aww, that's so nice of you to say."
"I don't get it. Even if you know what type he likes, how do you all know she's not that type?""Just look at her. I'd say O-positive if anything."
"No way! With that skin? I'm going 100% with AB."
"You are totally on, Red. Put your money where your mouth is."
"Isn't money like full of those swarmy little germ things?"
"Whoa, girl. That was actually what is known as a figure of speech. Don't eat good cash."
"Oops. Am I bad."
"Like, totally! Hee hee."