1.03.2008

CHAPTER FIVE: THE LEGEND CONTINUES

Mitzi is reading a bedtime story to her little daughter, Randi.

888In those dark days, Senator Murkyski had come back from Laundrytown to be governor of Laska. He appointed his own daughter to take his senate seat, which saved the people tens of dollars that would otherwise have been necessary to redo name tags and stationary.

As governor, Frankie Murkyski was very unpopular -- and not well liked, either. He really made the people mad when he bought himself a new jet with all the money he saved in stationary, and a whole lot more of the public funds besides. The people didn't like it that he got to travel in a jet while they had to drive their clunkers or take the bus or go by dogsled.

So they threw Frankie out of the governor's office and put Cindersara in his place.

"You're sure I can't have one last ride? Just a little itsy-bitsy one?"

"Read my lipstick. No-oh."

"Hey, I voted for you!"

The first thing Cindersara did in her new office was to sell Frankie's jet on eway.com (well, not really, but this is a fairy tale) and the second was to say 'thanks but no thanks" to a proposed bridge to Neverland (well, not really, but this is a fairy tale).

Fortunately, those people who wanted to get to Neverland could still go by pixie dust, except those few who had no happy thoughts, and they weren't good traveling companions anyway.

Everyone loved Cindersara. Well, maybe not quite everyone. It was inevitable that she would make a few enemies and lose a few friends on the road to greatness.

"Now boys, let's not be hasty. It's just politics, after all."

When negotiation failed, she dealt with dissension decisively, with intelligence and courage.

"I've got a gun and I know how to use it."

"Mommy."

"Yes, dear?"

"Did Cindersara ever tell a lie?"

"Only little white ones, honey, and then only when necessary to avoid the truth."

To be continued... Editor's Note: If the next chapter is not directly below this one, click on "Older Posts". The dates have been altered to permit continuous reading.
CHAPTER SIX: THE LEGEND GOES ON.... Take it around back." One day a very special delivery arrived at the governor's home. "But this is a very special delivery for Governor Cindersara." "Special delivery, yeah, right. This is the governor's mansion. Every delivery is special." After a hard day serving the people of Laska, Cindersara was lost in thoughts of how she could improve the lot of all the wonderful constituents of the Greatland, when her eye chanced to fall upon the package that had been dumped against a bureau. How Cindersara loved surprises! She eagerly ripped off the wrapping. It was indeed a special delivery! Wouldn't the good people of Laska be surprised! Cindersara and her husband were overjoyed that the Great Maker had chosen to send them another future voter -- five in all -- who, raised up right, would one day swell the ranks of Cindersara's favorite political party (the non-elite one). The birthrate was on their side. Cindersara was the darling of various groups, like the WGGA (We Got Guns Association). Like many Laskans, she was an avid hunter of four-legged things. As her children grew older, she shared with them the joy of the hunt. WARNING: THE FOLLOWING IMAGE IS GRAPHIC (although totally, like, not real). One for the pot! "Mommy?" "Yes, my little huntress?" "Can I be a vegetarian?" To be continued.... *Note: The housekeeper is shown in this segment for illustrative purposes. In reality, she was fired by Governor Cindersara to save the taxpayers money, which made Cindersara very popular with everyone except the housekeeper; she lost her insurance, her home, her life's savings and custody of her little crippled grandson, who turned himself into child protection services for assignment to a foster home on the day his grandmother pawned the x-box to buy food. The housekeeper died shortly thereafter of various untreated ailments and a broken heart, leaving her apron and her ceramic pig collection to her twin sister.
CHAPTER SEVEN: THE LIFE OF A GOVERNOR It is late, but Randi is still wide awake, so Mitzi continues to read....
8888Cindersara fell into a routine in her job as governor. Every morning, when she woke, she would wave to her neighbors in the country next door.
And they would rear up their heads and wave back. Then she would bask in her high approval rating of 107%. She particularly adored photo ops. "You know, you should be in the movies. In fact, if you want to come over to my apartment later....okay, okay, it was just a suggestion, put down the...is that thing loaded?." Like all beautiful people, Cindersara loved to grace the covers of magazines -- as she said, "I don't need to read them, I'm in them." When she had time, and wasn't busy working her magic on the Laska budget, Cindersara passed a law to give every Laskan a part of the public treasury, thus ensuring that the little people would survive to vote for her another day. (Humble deserving little people on their way to collect their share of the public treasury.) "A bag for you, and one for you." "Bless you, Governor, bless you."
Meanwhile, in a distant part of the land, a man by the name of Johnny Main was on the stump, running for president of the United States of Plasticopia.
Senator Main asked his loyal staff to help him fill the vice president's shoes. The first thing the staff had to decide was what kind of shoe the vice president should wear. They got help from those with experience. With this assistance, they worked all through the night exploring all the possible fits for the vice presidential shoe.
Then, just as dawn broke, they realized they had it! The perfect fit for the vice president. It was chic, it was unexpected, it was pure gold.
To be concluded....
CHAPTER EIGHT: A GOLDEN FIT

(Episode 2)

The first one to whom Johnny Main took the golden shoe was his old friend.

"Come on, Joe. You can do it. Push!"

Unfortunately, Joe could not cram his foot into the shoe.

A disappointed Johnny Main and his staff went out through all the land in search of The One who could step into the vice-presidential shoe.

Night and day they searched...

to no avail.

A discouraged Johnny Main was browsing magazines one day while grocery shopping. His eye was attracted by a certain magazine cover. "Look at those feet!" he exclaimed to himself. He immediately sought an audience with Cindersara and attempted to persuade her, despite her intense resistance, to try on the golden shoe.

Flattered, she nevertheless felt compelled to be forthright. "I'm sure it would not be hard to find someone more appropriate for this great honor. I don't have enough experience to be vice president, and certainly not to be president in case you...you know...croak. I know nothing about national issues, foreign affairs, or basic economy. I can't put a coherent sentence together without a teleprompter. Frankly, I'm just a pretty face with the ability to sway crowds by memorizing and repeating the things they love to hear. Besides, I have my family to consider, I don't want their adorable names dragged through the mud, nor do I want to callously use them as my platform. And I love Laska, I would never do anything to offend or embarrass my constituents here."

But Johnny Main was persistent. "You can wear really expensive clothes."

"Oh, well, okay then."

Of course the shoe fit perfectly, and since she just happened to have another like it in her cupboard, Cindersara finally had a matching pair.

Johnny Main was utterly charmed and was certain this was exactly the person the camp...country needed.

They spent a whole hour together chatting. They talked about all Cindersara's executive experience and views on various matters and her mavericky ways. Since they had lots of time left over, they discussed hockey and lipstick and marks on ears.

And so the would-be president carried Cindersara away with him, certain the whole world would be as enthralled with her as was he.

Along the way they came to a crossroads, as even plastic people sometimes do.

They hardly seemed to pause, for it was late and they had miles to go before they rested.

Thoughtful people may say that it is just such crossroads that determine the destiny of an individual, a family, even a nation. How, and in what way, is the stuff of legends.
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"Mommy?"

"Yes dear?"

"Did Cindersara live happily ever after?

"That remains to be seen."

"Did she take the right path?"

"That you must decide. Go to sleep now, no more excuses."

"Mommy."

"What is it now?"

"Will you be here in the morning?"

"Always."

"Good night, Mommy."

"Good-night, my love."