CHAPTER 68: IN A PEOPLE HOUSE
"Happy Valentine's Day, Mabel."
"If you're speaking to me, you should know that on this planet Valentine's Day fell on a Sunday. It's Thursday."
"Oops. I guess you noticed."
"I did. And I wonder if you noticed that I haven't been getting up and making your coffee in the morning? Or that when you asked if you had any clean underwear, I directed you to the dirty laundry hamper? Did you happen to notice when you said it was a good day and I said 'for some people'."
"I noticed. I thought you were going through delayed post-partum depression."
"Delayed eight years?"
"Hey. In fairness to me, I know a woman who says it only hit when her kids turned thirteen."
"You never ever remember the important dates. Like birthdays and anniversaries. I'm wondering if you're even happy to be married to me. Maybe you should have married Miss Prissy Maybells when you had the chance."
"Missy Praybells. I never had a chance. I was ten when she entered the convent at the age of 23."
"Please don't ruin my moment with facts."
"You want me to sleep in the doghouse?"
"Yes, thank you. Right now I don't like anything about you."
"Okay.""Wait...on second thought! I don't want to say something I'll regret."
"There are somethings about you I do like. Could you leave the rose and the candy? As long as they're here?" "Did I ever tell you how very glad I am that you're a house dog?"